As you are probably aware by now, I haven’t always had a particularly balanced relationship with food. In fact, for a number of years throughout my late teens and early 20s you could go so far as to say it was decidedly fucked up. You know, if you were into dropping the f-bomb at random (which I am).
Luckily – and happily – I came out the other side. Actually no, you know what. It wasn’t ‘luckily’ at all. It was damn hard work, took a long time and I have my family and friends to thank for it, even if they didn’t realise the impact they were having on me at the time.
Frustratingly though, recently I’ve had a strange backslide. By no means am I facing the same issues that I was before thank God, but I have started to think (dare I say it? obsess) about food more than I have in years.
See, I’m a bit of a sugar addict. And by ‘bit of’ I mean that if sugar was a female, I’d take her out to fancy dinners, wine and dine her and then get down on one knee to propose with the biggest mother of a diamond you’ve ever seen in your life. And I’m not even into the ladies.
What I’m getting at is that I love sugar. Does this mean that I actually eat sugar all the time? No. Because I realise that it’s not a nutritious option and – from a practical perspective – I physically couldn’t maintain my lifestyle with the constant blood sugar fluctuations, energy drops and general craziness that would ensue.
Six or 12 months ago, if I felt like a bit of sugar, I’d have a bit of sugar. But somewhere along the line I started to pay a little too much attention to the whole ‘sugar is The Devil’ movement and decided to replace it with healthier options. Fats and proteins basically. The problem is that because I stopped eating what I truly craved – a little bit of sugar – I’d completely over-indulge in its replacement OR if I did ‘allow’ myself to have some I’d turn into a strange sugar-eating demon with no ability to stop. Not only that, I would be thinking about food ALL THE FREAKING TIME. And because there were so many things on the ‘no-go’ list it felt like a constant battle between the ‘should’ and ‘shouldn’t’, ‘good’ and ‘bad’… words I have deliberately tried to keep out of my health-related vocabulary for years.
So yeah, it’s been super annoying. But in some ways it’s probably good that it’s come to this point because it’s been an excellent kick-up-the-ass reminder heading into Christmas party season of my own mantra: balance over perfection.
And where to from here? I’m really going to focus on listening to my body again – eating nutrient-dense food that will nourish me and keep me healthy and happy during this crazy time of full-time work, blogging, PT and the 6-Week Challenge. That will most likely mean lots of veggies, protein, fruit (mangoes!!) and the complex carbs that I love. And if I feel like a little selection of pick n mix lollies or a visit to Messina? Well it’ll probably do me the world of good.
Have a great week Team.